As I am going into my first real fall season here in Asheville, I need to bring up the prejudice’s I have recently been dealing with from our own community. The topic is “stereotypes.” This is interesting because all people can relate to either “falling into” or “breaking out of” a stereotype.

As an “atypical” transperson, I have always been a bit more of a maverick, if you will, by not wanting to ever fall into the “norm” or as I call it the regular world. I push the envelope pretty much off the table when I can. During the last several months, I have done just that with this column.

I have covered stereotypes about gender and expectations of roles that we, as transpeople, place on our own community. I have covered how we are the ones who dictate the “right” and “wrong” ways to be trans.  I have tried to bring the trans perspective to the community as a whole. And I have allowed people to see that I am atypical and am not afraid to do some good work for community.

I am trying to become a more active member of this community because after 20 years, no children and several husbands, I saw that I had somehow forgotten to do something important for myself; be real about who and what I am. A year ago I started a journey that led me to Asheville, the love of my life and an opportunity to help break down walls that confine the trans community.

 In doing some of this work, I found that some people in our community have what I consider to be “false ideas.”  The first thing I noticed after being involved with the trans community is that people are, at times, more focused on what’s on the outside not concerned with the inner workings of people.

I run JMB Transformations. Most of my clients are cross dressers who want to see how pretty they can be. I believe everyone should learn how to enhance the beauty that is already there but I am not about hiding or disguising or covering up. I also believe that simply being pretty or passable is not enough. I may be a pretty woman, but I am also intelligent, motivated and sometimes pushy in my assertive ways and with my opinions. But I am learning that while my passability is helpful in the regular world it is sometimes a hindrance in the trans world.

People find it easy to disregard me based on my looks because they project a stereotype image on me, like the archetypical “dumb blonde.” Sometimes I am almost dismissed as the “fluffy, pretty one” in my relationship. People sometimes regard me with shallow interest when I present my ideas or goals. They seem to wonder how I would be able to plan an event or achieve something. They may also be trying to imagine what I would know about hardship or pain since I am able to pass in the regular world. Does this mean my gender journey is not relevant? Am I simply a pretty face?

Before moving here, I was an HIV/AIDS activist for 10 years in Florida. I have had a hard time finding a way to “fit in” doing the work that is my passion. And that brings me to another stereotype-related prejudice I’ve faced.

I started to reach out to some trans conferences. The month of October is a great one for the trans community as we have two wonderful conferences on the east coast. The first, in early October, is the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta and later we have Fantasia-Fair in Provincetown, MA.

I will take my regular “make-up-and-wig-gig” to the conferences, but I also developed a Safer Sexual Pleasures class to teach at both SCC and FanFair this year.  In planning this, the board of both conferences seemed open to the idea, so I also brought up the possibility of having free HIV testing at SCC.  It had never been done before and was actually rejected in the past.  I was in shock and thrilled when I was told to go for it.

I worked hard and made some great connections for this to happen. I called pharmaceutical companies and begged for free swab tests. I got in touch with Ruby Hardy at Fulton County Health Services; she was a huge help. Meanwhile, I was confronted by some advisors to the conference board who told me that HIV/AIDS was not a trans issue, and felt I should not continue on this mission.

“HIV/AIDS IS NOT A TRANS ISSUE?” Did they really say that? Was this person on crack or just living in a cave? It was also suggested that if SCC allowed HIV testing, that the attendees would be frightened off and it would “reek” of a lesbian/gay Pride event.

Okay –this person just totally stereotyped HIV as a gay thing. This is the mindset of people totally stuck in the 80s.  Can we not see that HIV/AIDS is a virus that does not recognize gender or sexual orientation or even care if you are a cross-dresser who only dresses two times a year and only then do you want to “validate” yourself by having sex with a man to “feel like a real woman?”  

I was amazed that this mentality was still around, a twenty-five year old stereotype that won’t go away. I saw an even greater need to have this testing available and I was determined not to be dismissed because some people associate HIV testing with a gay Pride event or still believe HIV/AIDS is not a trans issue..

So, I am proud to announce that for the first time ever, free HIV testing will be available at The Southern Comfort Conference, sponsored by the Phoenix Transgender Support Group in Asheville. Testing will be administered by Fulton County Health Services in Conference Room 350 on Friday Oct 3rd from 1 to 5 pm. It is the OraQuik Test and results take an hour. Also, if you are at the SCC this year I am doing a Safe Sex class on Thursday in Maplewood A from 3:30 to 5pm that is perfect for both the transman and transwoman; a representative from the CDC and a doctor from Fulton County will be there also.

Well, I’ve got the ranting part down pretty well for when I’m up on my soapbox.  Before I get down, I will say this, WE are all people; diverse and wonderful, sometimes cruel and ignorant. Whether gay or straight, C/D or trans or even passable or clockable we are all still human and each of us is unique and wonderful.