When I was a child, I had always thought I was different. I never knew it as being gay. My mom just said I was "artsy."

I did all the normal boy things as a kid. I kicked the ball, ate dirt, and played with Star Wars figures. I had no time for Barbie dolls, Easy-Bake Ovens, or hair berets. Shockingly enough, I was a somewhat masculine little boy. The only tell tale sign of my sexual preference was my fascination and prowess in art and music. I definitely had a flair for the artistic, and that is a big gay stereotype. But at that time, I had no stereotype to base myself on. I was simply me.

I remember when I first realized that what my mother called "artsy" was really called "gay." I was 14 and all of my guy friends were skinny dipping one night at my best friend's house. I was in the deep end of the pool, treading water, and I looked up at my best friend who was standing nude in the moonlight.  I suddenly thought to myself that his naked body was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The way the water glistened off his chest. The way the muscles in his legs flexed as he stood there. It hit me like a lightening bolt. I knew at that exact moment why I loved to play war and shoot guns, but when it was all said and done I wanted to go kiss all the boys. I was gay.

I totally accepted it. I owned it. It all made sense. I never struggled with my homosexuality. I have met many men who do, and my heart bleeds for them. That inner struggle must be nightmarish.

I had no perception after my epiphany of what being gay actually meant. I didn't know how we acted. I did not know if we had our own language. I did not even know if I would see another one of my gays in public and have some sort of psychic connection with them. I just had no idea.

I have met gay guys who say they are not typical. What is a typical gay guy? How do they act? Is a typical gay a Madonna loving shallow little freak? Or is he the big shot attorney with his boyfriend at home raising their adopted daughter, affectionately named Liberty? Is a typical gay guy the one that goes to the club, does drugs, and takes home whoever has a pulse?

We all have our perception of what we think typical is. How can you pin down typical? What exactly is the stereotypical gay archetype? 

Let me see, we have the leather daddies, twinks, drag queens, nelly bottoms, butch tops, S&M freaks, pony boys, hanky wearers, straight-acting, and trolls; Which one of those is typical? I hope its not leather daddies; have you seen me in a pair of chaps?

What really blows my mind is that we gays discriminate against ourselves over the gay stereotype far more than straights. You’d think we would be more accepting of ourselves. I think it’s an inner dislike we harbor in ourselves from not being able to mesh into society. A wise man once told me that you hate in other people what you dislike in yourself. Do we channel our own dislike and non-acceptance by straights, onto ourselves? If we do, then someone needs to change that damned channel. I hear Bravo is really gay friendly.

I don't think straight people understand what it feels like growing up being gay and all you see in media or the world is “man and woman.” I even catch myself while watching a movie or TV show that depicts a gay couple showing affection and thinking it’s taboo or odd. It’s much easier now, but our society is still based on heterosexual ideals. It is oppressive for gays growing up. And if you don't think so, especially if you are gay, then please write the editor a juicy letter. We love a good argument.

People think that being stereotypically gay is synonymous with being a slut. We live by wanton desires and debauchery. Gay bars are sex dens with half clothed twinks running about; leather daddies with bulging chaps and hairy chests; sex and lust; fashion and drugs; good music and really bad beer. I don't know what last gay bar you went to, but I wouldn't want to see half those guys naked, and the ones I would, I assure you I have already seen. I'm a nude portrait artist; I have the best pick up lines.

When you have to hide who you are sexually during your sexually formative years, then of course you are going to go balls out (excuse the pun) when you find a place populated by all gays, like the nearest gay bar. When you finally find that Mecca of homosexuality, you naturally gravitate toward people who seem like you. The boy who used to secretly wear his mom’s shoes and dresses makes a beeline for the first drag queen he sees. Birds of a feather flock together. It’s a comfort and acceptance thing, whether you perceive it as stereotypical or not.

For those of us who navigate gay life sort of midstream, we find our scene also. There is even room for those of us who can't find the inner strength to come out and have to live in the closet (I'm not agreeing with it at all, but I sort of understand). The gothic queers find their dark corner. The leather queens find their own private sling. Even the twinks find some MTV Britney Gang and parade around sipping on diet coke and sucking lollypops.

Cher is not the Goddess of all gay men. Madonna is a heretic to many. Even Kathy Griffin has a handful of gay men who don't proclaim their undying love to her (and those men should be shot.) Iconically speaking, the gay archetype encompasses many more cultural figures than Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean. I'm a Brandon Routh and Hillary Clinton gay myself. His ass is to die for and Hillary is my man!

There is no stereotypical gay archetype. We are not all drag queens. We don't all dress up in leather and do poppers. We don't all love Madonna. We certainly do not all possess the uncanny ability to marry wrought iron and origami doves and win a design challenge. I love Project Runway but the gay sewing gene skipped me totally. As Heidi would say "you're out!" Some of us would rather go camping than try on jackets at Burberry. I prefer Verbena but I know a few gays in my neighborhood that won't wear anything that doesn't smell like dirty leaves.

Being gay is something that shapes your perception, not something that makes you cookie-cutter cookie. The straights wish they had it so good. Who else can read you like a cheap dime store novel and then completely update your closet in Banana Republic's fall colors?

Face it, we are all a beautifully painted tapestry of human life and experience...even if that tapestry is in hues of pink and purple.