Transfor[u]m

     
By JENNIFER M. BARGE

If, two years ago, someone would have mentioned to me that I should go to a “tranny” conference, I would have laughed at the idea. I mean honestly, “Me, at a trans conference?” That was humorous because I only went to things like Fantasy Festival in Key West or Mardi Gras in my old home town of New Orleans. But as the wonderful Universe has shifted my life into a new way of being, I did in fact find myself at the largest tranny conference in the world down in Atlanta at the beginning of October.

The Southern Comfort Conference started in the early 90's, though there is a debate amongst the founders as to what that date is. Holly Boswell says it 1991, while Lola Cola claims it to be 1990. The date is really not that important to me because I felt that the 2008 conference was overwhelming and actually a lot of fun. This year the seminars ran from the 2nd of October to the evening of the 4th.
   
Me being, well “me,” I started my planning for this conference many months ago, in March.  I attended several planning meetings with the love of my life and signed up to do some presenting for makeup and wigs and I also wanted to try something new by having a real safer sex practices and pleasures discussion with anyone who wanted to attend. And because one of my passions is to spread the word that HIV is very real in ALL parts of the human race, I wanted to set up Free HIV testing for any attendee. These things did take place and I was very proud to have achieved them.

The testing alone was hard because certain “old school” advisors thought HIV testing would send out the wrong message and that if anyone tested positive, their experience at the conference would be ruined. My opinion is that if someone is positive, they need to know so they can get help and prolong their life. Then of coarse it was mentioned that HIV is a “gay issue.”  I said simply that the condition is “HIV” not “GIV.”

The Monday before the conference there was a meeting with Fulton County representatives and the SCC board and hotel management. It was somehow implied that there would only be five to seven people wanting to be tested and all the staff I had arranged for [counselors and technicians] would not be needed. So on Friday, I had one counselor and one technician doing the work and 32 tests. We used 32 tests and sent 15 people away. Next year will be even better.

Now, back to the conference. It was pretty amazing to me because we had 844 people under one roof and many seminars going on.

I meet Dr. Marcy Bowers and the wonderful Ken Dollarhide. Who by the way did a great class on Transgendered Spiritual Traditions. I got to see my friend Mariette Pathy Allen. Of coarse Holly Boswell was amazing with her class, Beyond Man or Woman, which was interesting for me to be a part of because I totally identify with feminine energy but enjoy the ideas that were discussed.

I also attended the GenderQueer Round Table, which was informative. Though when I started living as a girl back in 1982 at the age of 14, we did not have words like “transition” or even “transgender.” We had hard-core punk, and goth and we just did the damn thing. I knew I was a girl and I refused to allow a penis to define my gender. I personally get a little confused by the college kids who have turned gender or “non-gender” into an exclusive club that claims to be able to free you yet still has so many rules and restrictions; you have to look a certain way and use the “right” words or you can not be in the club. For a radical movement it seems almost like a politic. That is only my opinion.
   
Along with the wealth of knowledge provided by people in our own community there were also doctors and specialists to tell us how to talk, walk and even be clocked as a “real” woman in public. I have issues with people telling me how to be a real tranny especially when they are not living the life. But it does have its place in conferences.

I also was disturbed by a group of researchers who set up shop and actually paid $10 each to transpersons willing to have their DNA tested by spitting in a cup. I was amazed that people doing this. I told the researchers I felt it was wrong because they are trying to find a gene that would define the cause of being trans and by doing so maybe someday stop that gene. Thus fixing us trannys. The researchers were only gathering information but they agreed I could be right. NOTE: I would never change being a transperson, ever, as my life is great and I have never really gotten the “bad” part of my experience. Again this is my opinion.
   
The conference also offered a vendor area and a Career Expo to help with finding a good match up between companies and transpeople, which took place on Friday during the conference. The companies represented included CNN, New York Life, and HP. The representatives were all great and very friendly. Also the Point Foundation was there to help with information about their LGBT Scholarship program. I felt overall it was a great success and next year it will be even better.
     
The meals were great and followed the theme “Cruise to Celebrate Life” so each lunch and dinner represented a different port of call. The decorations were awesome and a lot of work went into the overall theme. We had speakers during lunch and entertainment in the evening. The lunch speakers included Cat Turner who gave a talk on unity and “One Human Family.” Donna Rose gave a moving speech on Saturday followed by Mara Keisling. I met Mara during the conference and I found her to be an amazing person. Others who spoke include Gina Lance, Justine Nelson and Selisse Berry who is the founding executive director of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, dedicated to creating safe workplaces for all in our community.
   
Friday night’s entertainment was great. Holly Boswell had set up a great band, Coyote Grace, from North California. They brought the house down. I even bought a CD after the show. There was also a comedian from Seattle, Jessica Pettitt. I sat next to her at the dinner table and found her to be great.

Saturday’s entertainment was good, too. Jade Esteban Estrada performed his History of Trans in the World, which I enjoyed, but the set up of the room made it hard for some people to follow. I saw his show last year in Asheville on the history of gays and lesbians, in a smaller venue, and was wonderful. The rock band that followed was very upbeat but not exactly what was expected.

In addition to presenting a couple of seminars achieving the first HIV testing at Southern Comfort  (which had been turned down several times before, so I can’t take credit for it since others had suggested in the past!!), I also held a make up clinic for the spouses of (SOs) CD/Tanswomen. This took place in The Comfort Zone led by Beth Martin this year and was a safe, non-trans area where women could come and vent and express anger, fears and hurts. It was an honor to be allowed in that area since I am a transwoman. It was wonderful to be able to help these women before the big Saturday evening dinner.

So often in our community we, as Trans, want to shine allowing our partners to fade into the background. My goal was show these women and their partners that they, too, were beautiful and could also shine. I also got talk with these women about the pain and anger they have. Those women are amazing and strong. They really impressed me with the love and commitment they have for their partners. I was so pleased when they let down their guards and spoke freely in front of me, only to stop and explain that I was now a part of that sacred space, which is important for every conference to provide .I look forward to The Comfort Zone next year.
   
Finally- along with all the planning and research for my Safer Sex Class and the HIV testing, I also made an impact as the  “Condom Faery.” Throughout the conference, I had a basket on my arm filled with condoms, reality condoms, lube, dental dams and literature on safe sex and instructions on condom use. I gave out over 2000 condoms and hopefully spared people some headaches. I was a bit pushy making my rounds asking people if they needed any of my goods. At 9am, I wasn’t received with much appreciation. But by 7pm, when the drinks were flowing, I had to restock my supply.

I enjoyed the conference and am looking forward to doing my Safer Sex class again next year with Kim Watson who has a wealth of knowledge. I am especially grateful for Elaine Martin who went out of her way to see that my desire for free HIV testing was achieved; also all the board members and staff and every person who came. See you all next year.

Now I am off to Fantasia Fair.